hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
