just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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