i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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