You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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