I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
