hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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