at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
