I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize