I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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