whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize