Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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