No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
