You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
