I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
And the cops told us we were all naked.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
