Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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