was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
