i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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