when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize