State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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