Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...