your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
