Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He? As in you personified your dick?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
