dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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