just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
