Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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