Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
