Nicole vs. Life
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
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