woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize