I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
