Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
