Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
