I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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