I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
