He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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