Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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