I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize