Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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