singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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