Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This is the high leading the old right now
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
