i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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