Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
