Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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