Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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