Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
