apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
