She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize