Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
