We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
