just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
