You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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