I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
