where am i from again
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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