im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
