she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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